i dont have much to talk about but i wanted to post for somer eason. maybe something will come out of it.
so im not sure if i mentioned him before but theres this british guy in my class, his name is benjamin. im not sure what i said about him if i did talk about him but one of my friends, genta, she said he has a thing for me lol. hes cute but i donno. friends at the moment and thats all i see right now. but ill see what he does. ill give him a chance if he asks. i do that..its the fault of this guy named ray.. he turned me down and i thought why not just give me a chance? and i figured that everyone deserves a first chance.
im going to tell my parents again tonight that i dont want to go to this school. i want to go back to my old one :( again im not sure if i told you but i told them and it didnt go as a wanted. so ill try again tonight.
thats basically all thats interesting with me ( other my bestie ;) )
ill keep you posted
yours truly
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
had to!
my bestie smokes...holy crap!! i did not know this!! he said he had told me but OH NO!! he did not!! for those who dont know i am completely against smoking/drugs. its not natural for the body and it kills you. thats all it does. sure peiople may argue with it makes you feel better. yeah!! PSSHHTT!! for how long!?!?! until the end of the end of cig? until theres no more weed?! yeah!!! EXACTLY!!!! and you all know!! it costs SO much money!! its ridonculous!!!! i cant beleive this... i am SO shocked. i did not see this coming. when he told me i was conflicting with myself. i didnt know wether to yell at him or just stop talking to him.... i didnt do either... hes my bestie, not to mention i like him too, i couldnt do that to him. so i tried to find out more... he hasnt done weed in a year. bonus right there. and hes trying to quit cigs. he wants to quit. im going to help him. i dont want him to do that to himself. im going to help him.. i have to. i want to.
anwyayz i had to say that.. i had to get that out.
ill keep you posted
yours truly
anwyayz i had to say that.. i had to get that out.
ill keep you posted
yours truly
hmm...
i think there might be a pattern starting. ive posted every other day since wednesday. well i had an excuse for yesterday.
my bestie samantha (sam), on the girl side lol, her mom's birthday was yesterday and i was invited to join. my best friend, melissa, and my besties boyfriend, braeden, were invited too. it was SO much fun. it was a PARTAY! we played this game called 'apples to apples'. im telling you know. GO AND GET IT!! it is THE funnest game EVA!! so enough with the capitals... :P well at the party it was all her cousins and family and close family friends. one of sams cousins, chad, is so cool lol. hes funny lol...good times :) i slept over. thats why i didnt post about it. but i wont now because i dont feel like it. lol
i have tons of homework.... greeeaaaat.... :( i should get to it. ill be up late tonight because of it. and yes...i have that much homework.... like i said. greeeaaaaat. after im done though, if its not too late, ill continue with my real life book.
ill keep you posted
yours truly
my bestie samantha (sam), on the girl side lol, her mom's birthday was yesterday and i was invited to join. my best friend, melissa, and my besties boyfriend, braeden, were invited too. it was SO much fun. it was a PARTAY! we played this game called 'apples to apples'. im telling you know. GO AND GET IT!! it is THE funnest game EVA!! so enough with the capitals... :P well at the party it was all her cousins and family and close family friends. one of sams cousins, chad, is so cool lol. hes funny lol...good times :) i slept over. thats why i didnt post about it. but i wont now because i dont feel like it. lol
i have tons of homework.... greeeaaaat.... :( i should get to it. ill be up late tonight because of it. and yes...i have that much homework.... like i said. greeeaaaaat. after im done though, if its not too late, ill continue with my real life book.
ill keep you posted
yours truly
Friday, September 25, 2009
again?
yesterday i was sick so i had nothing really to talk about. just thought id let you know why i didnt post yesterday.
today i made a new friend in my art class. that gets me up to five friends total at this school. woopee... i told my parents about the school and they told me to keep them posted. tonight im going to tell them i dont want to go there.. although im not so sure anymore. one of my friends there, his name is Benjamin, hes british lol :), hes really cool. and my other two friends Genta and Franceska, i think thats how you spell it, theyr pretty cool but crazy. but im pretty sure i want to leave there. i want to go back to lci. i miss the school, my friends, and even the teachers. it was awesome there, we were all a big family. here they look at you like your freaks of nature..i think i said that on wednesday. anyways im going to tell my parents tonight before Trudy, my moms friend, gets here. if i cant then ill tell them tomorrow. ill keep you posted though.
ive started the actual writing process of my book that im writing. i restarted a while back just so i could get things settled in my head. also i stopped with the whole head thing because i started writing another book. when i finish the one based on my actual life, although there are some scenes that are a bit made up, ill post the first chapter and ill continue posting chapters until they entire book is up. or i wont and if you want to see it then youll have to tell me then i will.
i cant stop listening to 'you belong to me' by taylor swift. its bugging me. not the song just why i cant stop listening to it. i was talking to my bestie the other day and i cant believe how he doesnt get it. i tried giving hints so maybe hed get it by himself, but i havnt actually outright told him..yet. my love life will not suck this bad forever. i will force it to get better if it wont on its own.
anyways i dont have alot to talk about like last time so ill stop.
yours truly
today i made a new friend in my art class. that gets me up to five friends total at this school. woopee... i told my parents about the school and they told me to keep them posted. tonight im going to tell them i dont want to go there.. although im not so sure anymore. one of my friends there, his name is Benjamin, hes british lol :), hes really cool. and my other two friends Genta and Franceska, i think thats how you spell it, theyr pretty cool but crazy. but im pretty sure i want to leave there. i want to go back to lci. i miss the school, my friends, and even the teachers. it was awesome there, we were all a big family. here they look at you like your freaks of nature..i think i said that on wednesday. anyways im going to tell my parents tonight before Trudy, my moms friend, gets here. if i cant then ill tell them tomorrow. ill keep you posted though.
ive started the actual writing process of my book that im writing. i restarted a while back just so i could get things settled in my head. also i stopped with the whole head thing because i started writing another book. when i finish the one based on my actual life, although there are some scenes that are a bit made up, ill post the first chapter and ill continue posting chapters until they entire book is up. or i wont and if you want to see it then youll have to tell me then i will.
i cant stop listening to 'you belong to me' by taylor swift. its bugging me. not the song just why i cant stop listening to it. i was talking to my bestie the other day and i cant believe how he doesnt get it. i tried giving hints so maybe hed get it by himself, but i havnt actually outright told him..yet. my love life will not suck this bad forever. i will force it to get better if it wont on its own.
anyways i dont have alot to talk about like last time so ill stop.
yours truly
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
...
hey everyone.
i havn't posted in a really long time. i know. sorry.
ive been busy, with the move and all. i ended up switching schools...i hate the school......everyone is so mean there. if someone doesnt know you they look at you like you're a freak of nature. it sucks.. HUGE! but whatever. my parents wont let me switch, i dont think at least. im going to tell them tonight at dinner. maybe theyll let me switch back to my old school. doubt it. but im still crossing my fingers.
im posting today because i thought of something. i want to start a journal. you know, get my feelings out in a secure and non-violent way. but i cant find a journal. so i thought of another thing. this is going to be my journal. although it may not work because i dont always sign onto the computer. but lately, i need a journal. so you never know. so here goes.
today something interesting happened. i realized i really care about one of my friends. more than a friend care actually. i really like him. i knew i liked him before now but i didnt realize i liked him this much..the good part of this is that we're besties. so i can talk to him about anything and vice versa. he doesnt know i like him..that seems to be what i do. suffer in silence. im going to tell him soon. maybe this weekend, hopefully. but i will tell him. i will NOT make the same mistake with the other guy i liked..who moved out of my country... he will know. he will..weve dated in the past, i think all those datings made us besties. but now its different. it feels different this time. i feel the need to talk to him every time i can, at every moment. but the problem is that i cant or hell figure it out.. maybe that isnt so bad actually. but another problem, theres nothing to talk about. i dont go to his school anymore. and if i just talk i talk jibberish. but as i was saying this time is different. i feel like he can make me happy. all the time, even when i dont want to be. i want to be with him. but im not sure if he wants to be with me.
i know right.. im only making excuses not to tell him or show him. but i promise to myself that i will tell him. and i NEVER break my promises. thats something me and him have figured out together.. :) when i think of him i cant help but smile. isnt that weird? ive known him since kindergarten and weve dated multiple times. when i say multiple times i mean multiple times. one time when we were dating we were talking about all the times we had liked eachother. it turned out that we had liked eachother at the same time all the time. we just never told eachother. thats when we promised eachother that we would always tell the other when we liked the other. he kept that promise every time. so did i. i just took longer to tell him. thats how its always been. the only reason i havnt told him yet is for two reasons.
1. he hasnt told me. i trust him to tell me. but maybe its different for him too this time...and
2. it really IS different this time.
the next time i see him ill be so tempted to kiss him and tell him. i may just. minus the kissing. maybe ill just msn him it, while hes on ofcourse. then sign off after..yeah that sounds like a plan.
so anyways i said that i figured out today how much i liekd him, even though i knew i liked him already. i figured out how much because of my dance class. weird huh?
well it was when were done performing our dances that we had coreographed ourselves. there was 15 minutes left and my teacher gave the class some time to go to our 'happy place' and chill for a while. so i went into the corner of the gym and layed down and closed my eyes. i pictured my 'happy place' that i always pictured when we were told to. im laying down by the sea. im facing the sky and there are a few white fluffy clouds in the sky. theres dolphins jumping everywhere in the water where i look. there are cute fluffy bunnies, squirrels and tehres a deer herd grazing not far off. im always looking at the dolphins in my happy place. this time though when i pictured it, i wasnt really in my 'happy place' i pictured it for a little while longer to try to figure out why when he came and layed down beside me. you know..my bestie. when he layed down he took my hand and pulled me close. we were just lying there together looking at the dolphins and just enjoying eachotehrsd presence. well..at least i was.
the point is that its crazy how much ive come form saying 'hes cute' or funny or nice to 'i cant stop thinking about you'.
if i dont get with him soon itll pass and ill go back to teh otehr guy. all my emotions for him will come rushing back. just wanting tobe near him. happy when he is and sad when he is. i couldnt help it. but now..if my bestie feels the same. i may be able to let go completely.
thats all i have..hope you enjoyed reading what is gaurded closely from others...
yours truly
i havn't posted in a really long time. i know. sorry.
ive been busy, with the move and all. i ended up switching schools...i hate the school......everyone is so mean there. if someone doesnt know you they look at you like you're a freak of nature. it sucks.. HUGE! but whatever. my parents wont let me switch, i dont think at least. im going to tell them tonight at dinner. maybe theyll let me switch back to my old school. doubt it. but im still crossing my fingers.
im posting today because i thought of something. i want to start a journal. you know, get my feelings out in a secure and non-violent way. but i cant find a journal. so i thought of another thing. this is going to be my journal. although it may not work because i dont always sign onto the computer. but lately, i need a journal. so you never know. so here goes.
today something interesting happened. i realized i really care about one of my friends. more than a friend care actually. i really like him. i knew i liked him before now but i didnt realize i liked him this much..the good part of this is that we're besties. so i can talk to him about anything and vice versa. he doesnt know i like him..that seems to be what i do. suffer in silence. im going to tell him soon. maybe this weekend, hopefully. but i will tell him. i will NOT make the same mistake with the other guy i liked..who moved out of my country... he will know. he will..weve dated in the past, i think all those datings made us besties. but now its different. it feels different this time. i feel the need to talk to him every time i can, at every moment. but the problem is that i cant or hell figure it out.. maybe that isnt so bad actually. but another problem, theres nothing to talk about. i dont go to his school anymore. and if i just talk i talk jibberish. but as i was saying this time is different. i feel like he can make me happy. all the time, even when i dont want to be. i want to be with him. but im not sure if he wants to be with me.
i know right.. im only making excuses not to tell him or show him. but i promise to myself that i will tell him. and i NEVER break my promises. thats something me and him have figured out together.. :) when i think of him i cant help but smile. isnt that weird? ive known him since kindergarten and weve dated multiple times. when i say multiple times i mean multiple times. one time when we were dating we were talking about all the times we had liked eachother. it turned out that we had liked eachother at the same time all the time. we just never told eachother. thats when we promised eachother that we would always tell the other when we liked the other. he kept that promise every time. so did i. i just took longer to tell him. thats how its always been. the only reason i havnt told him yet is for two reasons.
1. he hasnt told me. i trust him to tell me. but maybe its different for him too this time...and
2. it really IS different this time.
the next time i see him ill be so tempted to kiss him and tell him. i may just. minus the kissing. maybe ill just msn him it, while hes on ofcourse. then sign off after..yeah that sounds like a plan.
so anyways i said that i figured out today how much i liekd him, even though i knew i liked him already. i figured out how much because of my dance class. weird huh?
well it was when were done performing our dances that we had coreographed ourselves. there was 15 minutes left and my teacher gave the class some time to go to our 'happy place' and chill for a while. so i went into the corner of the gym and layed down and closed my eyes. i pictured my 'happy place' that i always pictured when we were told to. im laying down by the sea. im facing the sky and there are a few white fluffy clouds in the sky. theres dolphins jumping everywhere in the water where i look. there are cute fluffy bunnies, squirrels and tehres a deer herd grazing not far off. im always looking at the dolphins in my happy place. this time though when i pictured it, i wasnt really in my 'happy place' i pictured it for a little while longer to try to figure out why when he came and layed down beside me. you know..my bestie. when he layed down he took my hand and pulled me close. we were just lying there together looking at the dolphins and just enjoying eachotehrsd presence. well..at least i was.
the point is that its crazy how much ive come form saying 'hes cute' or funny or nice to 'i cant stop thinking about you'.
if i dont get with him soon itll pass and ill go back to teh otehr guy. all my emotions for him will come rushing back. just wanting tobe near him. happy when he is and sad when he is. i couldnt help it. but now..if my bestie feels the same. i may be able to let go completely.
thats all i have..hope you enjoyed reading what is gaurded closely from others...
yours truly
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